Bring pen to paper

But only scraps and vapor

Are found in this dark heart of mine

Writer’s block is a beast of an issue that gets talked about endlessly in the world of word crafting.  But what about depression?  Is anyone else depressed?

It’s such a weird cycle- to be so full of overwhelming emotion yet be so debilitated by said emotion that you can’t bring yourself to express it.  I know sometimes the dark side of the heart can be the most creative and inspirational. But there are times when it goes beyond being angst and turns into this oppression you can’t shake or find strength to fight and it kills your desire for absolutely everything,  especially the things you love the most.  Especially writing.

My question is, what do you do? What do you do when you can’t bring yourself to care anymore about the things that used to make you happy?

15 thoughts on “Trapped inside

  1. You tell yourself about all the good things in your life. You look into your reflection’s eyes and tell yourself you are beautiful/handsome, you are worthy, you are great, you are smart, you are healthy (assuming you actually ARE healthy). You cry. Let all the tears out so none are left to block the flow of positivity. But sometimes, in the depths of despair, you have to just ride it out. It’s a tricky and fickle monster, depression. Some techniques that worked one time may not work the next. Throw all the positive vibes at it that you can, and pick up your pen and write.

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    1. Thanks for this. I’m typically really quick to bounce back from anything but I have a husband than takes double shots of pessimism in his coffee so, the hard thing for me is figuring out how to uplift someone’s spirit when their mood won’t budge.

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      1. Sometimes it has to be the other person’s idea and decision. You know, you can lead a horse to water kind of thing. Find out what he needs from you and give it to him, whether it’s space, time, hugs, love, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. When I’m in the depths of despair, I sometimes want to be held, and other times I want to be left alone to wallow in my self pity. Being happy is a decision. Some days that decision is simple, even unnecessary. Other days, it’s a struggle to turn things around, even though I KNOW it’s a choice. Sometimes those who are down don’t even know WHY they are down. So, yeah, find out what he needs from you, and give it to him.

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      2. Good old fashioned space seems to do wonders most of the time. A lot can happen on its own if you just patiently wait for them to come around. The problem is that so many people lack that kind of patience and become very quick to judge or leave someone that struggles with dark moods which is why so many struggle alone.

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      3. That is VERY true. I think as long as the person, or you, or I, know that SOMEONE is there for you, just checking in quietly from time to time helps, too. So many people don’t understand depression and anxiety. They just don’t get it if they’ve never experienced it before. It’s seen as a weakness, or the person is being silly or ridiculous. Meanwhile, we are dying on the inside. For depression, our hearts are breaking. For anxiety, our hearts are exploding. Our brains are wild with negative thoughts, catastrophizing every situation into something so unbearable we’re just frozen…

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      4. Too often my experience with anxiety is met with comments like, “Stop making a big deal out of it. ” You’re so right, you can’t understand until you’ve felt it.

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      5. Right? Don’t be such a baby, nothing bad is going to happen, etc. But our minds go nuts, am I right? All we can think about is worst case scenarios. I’ve found that mindfulness helps a lot. Focusing on the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Thinking about a memory that makes you happy and reliving it in your mind. Hell, when I was in Italy once, traversing a narrow spiral staircase with people in front and behind me and no escape, I repeated the opening monologue of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (which I memorized many years ago) over and over again. Anything to take the mind off the worst case. 🙂

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  2. I’ve been there before also and have overcome it many different times. First, yes that dark side can be a creative tool, but you can’t do much from with in it. If your feeling good and inspired then visit that place in your mind in order to create its much different. Meditate and clear your mind, or do whatever you do to clear your mind, free yourself of that negativity that gets you stuck- in might take days. Then you’ll start to get better fresh thoughts and feel better too.

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    1. Thank you for your insight. I personally trive on the whole “mind over matter” mantra. To me, it’s a discipline I have honed and developed and it works. But I’ve encountered so many that have no idea how to possibly do that. I don’t think that’s inherently a negative thing. I think we are all just wired differently. It takes being open and honest about the realty of it so that others can be encouraged.

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      1. I kinda hit the pause button on reality as often as I can. I guess I observe as much as I need to in order to know what I want out of life, but I try not to focus so deeply on the reality that I forget about the future. I guess I don’t want to face reality as much as I want to create it.

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