Only 6 more days until the release of “This Never Happened”!

By: R. Tim Morris

Available for e-book purchase March 30th

I challenged our authors to ask “Ryan”, author of “This Never Happened”, some random questions. His answers did not disappoint us.

What’s your favorite time of the day to eat and what are you most likely to eat too much of?

Snacktime is the right time! I’m a sucker for late night snacks. My go-to was always Hawkins Cheezies (come to Canada if you can’t find them), but when I finally deduced that corn products give me massive heartburn, I had to end our relationship. It’s okay to cry for me. Really, you should.

My runner-up snack would be black liquorice; and be sure to give me the super salty Dutch variety.


M&M’s or Skittles?

More snack questions! I’m never sure if I’m in the mood for chocolate, but I’m always up for sweet candy. So Skittles it is. BUT! If I am feeling chocolate, it’s going to be Smarties over M&M’s every time (again, you’ve got to come to Canada).


How do you feel about revolving doors?

My advice? Never stop to think about revolving doors; just keep your legs moving.


How would you feel if you sat to put together a 1,000 piece puzzle and realized at the very end that you were missing one?

You know, the last piece of a puzzle is usually the most boring one anyway (you know, that patch of blue or green that just wasn’t fitting anywhere the whole time), so I wouldn’t be too disappointed. Unless of course we’re talking dirty puzzles and I was saving the nipple for the end. Then it would be Hulk rage time.


Who is your favorite fictional character from a book, movie, TV series, etc?

George Costanza (Seinfeld). Though Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon (30 Rock) could certainly give him a good run for his money. Both are such comically complicated characters, and both are played masterfully.


If you could live inside any fictional world (written or filmed) what would it be?

You might assume I’d go with some crazy, whacked-out fantasy world, but I would have to say The Wonder Years. This series was so idyllic and perfect to me; the right show for that time in my life. I would love to live as Kevin Arnold for a good while. Having no video games or internet around would be a big bonus too.


If you could have a flag to represent you, what would it look like?

I don’t typically like to draw as much attention to myself as a personalized flag would probably draw.


If you had a time machine but had only one chance to use it, would you go back in time to a specific event/period or would you choose to go forward in time to see the future?

Definitely into the past. And probably just to buy stocks in Apple, or bet on sporting events, or write Harry Potter first. Everyone needs a lucky break, though it’s much easier when you take the luck out of the equation.


What is a TV show or activity that no one would expect you to watch or do?

TV Show: I actually enjoyed watching Project Runway years ago. Not because I love high fashion or the wacky antics of Tim Gunn, but there weren’t many competition shows better at showing the creative process.

Activity: No one would ever expect me to breed slugs or draw mustaches on babies, would they? Kidding! You never asked for my answer to be an activity I ACTUALLY do.


If you could choose one superpower, what would it be?

Invisibility, easy. But if they were all out of invisibility juice I’d go with stretchy arms, because I’m pretty lazy.


If you were only allowed one yearly celebration for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Is there a Free Lego Day? I’ll pick that. If not, then let’s go with Free Hawkins Cheezies Day. What, that’s not a thing either? I’ll settle with May the 4th then.


Describe the coziest chair you have ever sat in.

Does it count if I’ve had dreams of sitting in giant bowls of cooked pasta noodles or warm oatmeal? Yes? Okay, I’ll go with that.


3 thoughts on “R. Tim Morris is actually hilarious

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s